Five Lifestyle Shifts That Have Been Game Changers for Me in Midlife

“Wow, I’m really middle-aged now.”

This felt sense of being in midlife didn’t quite hit me until menopause kicked in. I was 47, newly dating my fiance, and things were in many ways feeling really hard. But my new relationship felt wonderful and masked some increasingly bothersome health symptoms.

Here’s what I was noticing:

• Low energy, to the point where my regular workouts felt almost impossible.
• Difficulty sleeping, which soon became insomnia.
• Feeling hot and sweaty very easily, which intensified into frequent hot flashes.
• Night sweats.
• Low mood.
• Weight gain.

It didn’t help that my new partner and I loved wine and would drink together most nights of the week. I later learned that the alcohol was exacerbating every one of my symptoms.

It was only when I finally visited my doctor a year ago to check my hormone levels that I realized many of my symptoms were menopause related. It was the first time I really had to address my health. Up until that point I had taken my good health for granted.

It’s true what you hear about doctors seeming to know very little about menopause. Countless women who must show up in their office with symptoms and time and again doctors don’t seem to know how to deal with them. My doctor referred me on to a Gynecologist, who, in the ten minutes I had to meet with her, advised I stop drinking and take an estrogen supplement.

Becoming My Own CEO

I accepted my prescription but resolved to arm myself with as much knowledge as possible before taking it. I was concerned by all the media attention given over the years to hormone supplements and their potential to increase the risk for certain cancers. It’s easy to believe the hype, but unless you become the CEO of your own healthcare you’ll never be able to make an informed decision based on truth.

I tuned into podcasts and blogs from menopause experts like Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Dr. Jen Gunther, both OB/GYNs who specialize in menopause healthcare. I also combed multiple research articles on hormonal supplements and the potential health risks. I was reassured by the updates to the original study in the early 2000s that had women flushing their HRT pills down the toilet.

And I stumbled across this gem of a book: “Estrogen Matters: Why Taking Hormones in Menopause Can Improve Women's Well-Being and Lengthen Their Lives -- Without Raising the Risk of Breast Cancer.”

“A pooled statistical analysis of thirty clinical trials found that women who began hormone therapy before age 60 had a 39% lower risk of death than women who didn’t take hormones.” 

(Forbes.com)

I’m sure you have guessed by now that one of the five bog changes I have made since becoming peri-menopausal is a hormonal supplement. It has changed everything. But less of the health experts and the importance of advocating for our own healthcare (I could go down all kinds of rabbit holes there), you are likely wondering about those other four “game changer” strategies. Okay, here goes:

1. I stopped Drinking.

This was a really big deal. Drinking had become a bad habit for me since Covid and meeting my man. I used to start thinking about wine around 5pm during my last therapy session of the day. Once home, I would walk through the door and immediately pour myself a solid 9oz glass. Okay, maybe 10 or 11….

Wine made everything worse, not to mention the fact that my middle aged body could no longer seem to handle it. I had to stop. And so I did. Right before Christmas of all times.

2. I Began Hormonal Supplements

For me this looked like an estrogen gel combined with a progesterone iud. I dread to think where I’d be without them.

3. I Changed my Workout Routine.

I have worked out my whole life. I was a cardio junkie—still am—and would use running or spinning as a way to be able to eat more. I didn’t see the value in lifting weights because it didn’t give me the same calorie burn or that post-run high. Now I feel very differently and am committed to building strength and muscle for the long-haul. Here are just a few of the benefits of lifting weights in menopause:

• Build muscle mass and strength
• Increase bone density (helping to prevent osteoporosis)
• Increase metabolism
• Decrease joint pain
• Reduced risk of high blood pressure, heart attacks, and stroke
• Reduces the aches and pains that come with an ageing body
• Sustains ability to engage in regular daily activities like lifting grocery bags
• Hopefully prevents you from checking into a nursing home at 70 (okay that one is mine!)

All my research tells me it’s important to lift heavy. If we keep lifting the same light weights and never add to the load, we don’t build strength. Simple. And yet, until menopause I never progressed from my 12 lb weights in 30 years.

4. I Upped My Protein

This one isn’t necessarily a menopause-related benefit but it definitely helps with building muscle. It also helps fill you up so you don’t feel as hungry. I thought I was eating enough protein before as I would eat plenty of white meat, fish and eggs. Turns out, I was eating less than half of what I needed. Health articles suggest one gram of protein for every pound of body fat.

5. I Started Therapy

I’m a big proponent of therapy. Makes sense given that I am one. And I have no problem stating that I think every therapist needs their own therapist. We go through a LOT of S**T at this time in our lives and we need a safe space to talk through it.

So there you have it. Some are big, some less so. I’m really learning over the years that there isn’t usually one big solution, but rather several things we need to shift at once. Small changes add up to a very different life experience over time.

Is there anything you have done that has been a game changer for you in midlife? It could be menopause related or not. Share in the comments—I’d love to hear!